The Kenyan Wedding (Jan 29/04)

OK, well, I deserve some recriminations for not writing in so long.. especially since half of you haven’t even gotten my last few posts! Not sure why that is – I’m blaming it on the ISP. But now I’m trying again.

[Before I begin, I want to extend my best to the MacDonalds & to Uncle Floyd in his promotion to a greater good. I hear I missed one hell of a send off! I will always hold him in the highest regard. A fine person indeed. I feel very much for Aunt Gerri and I congratulate her & the kids in their outlook. It’s not an end, but a beginning.]

I’m sure everyone’s anxiously awaiting the news of my family’s visit to Kenya, and our second marriage ceremony in traditional Kenyan style. Let me tell ya, it was AMAZING! An experience to remember for sure!

Mike Tremblay arrived first – even though I had him down as a ‘maybe’ – on Dec 19. Anthony was home by that point – he arrived on the same day as my handbag got stolen from a matatu. Yes, it finally happened! My small purse was stealthily removed from inside my backpack, which meant my phone, ATM card, and Visa all became suddenly non-existent. After a month in Sudan, Anthony found me in an internet café trying frantically to cancel everything (thanks Jake!). As soon as we got that sorted out, we went looking for vehicles – since I had eight people to entertain and transport around Kenya, and after figuring out that it would cost us at least $3000 to rent a suitable vehicle, we decided to take the plunge and just buy a safari van (of course, why not?! –and me without a bank card!). Mind you, this is easier said than done. Mike arrived in the middle of our negotiations with 1) the cheating mama from the school trying to sell us a vehicle that hadn’t run in 2 years, 2) a self-proclaimed “Bishop” on a used car lot who wouldn’t shake hands with us infidels, and 3) a safari company owner who actually offered us reasonable terms. We went with the safari owner, and signed the deal at 5pm on Dec 24! We now own a Nissan minivan, with 11 seats and a roof you can pop your head out of to check out the animals. That settled, Mike & Anthony headed to Kitale on Christmas Day, while I cleaned the apartments I had arranged for the visitors and ate pizza.

The 26^th finally arrived, along with my family! Mum, Dad, Jake, Vanessa, and my friend Tracey all got in that morning, and I took them for  their first taste of African game meat that night at Carnivore (one of the top 50 restaurants in the world according to the UK). We then took off for Kitale the next day, with my former colleague Echo Whiskey driving. Only one tyre puncture on these horrendous Kenyan roads, which our 2 mechanics (Dad & EW, plus Jake) dealt with rather efficiently. I got the family & friends settled in at the Sunrise – a hotel in Kitale owned by a mzungu, complete with running (hot) water and electricity, at only $9 per night per person including breakfast (and wow, did people BITCH about that!! Not up to Canadian standards for some, and ridiculously expensive for others. But I figured that they’d get used to Africa soon!). The next day was the event to behold..

The Kenyan marriage blessing ceremony was certainly an initiation into Bukusu culture… wow. It was simply incredible. We arrived at the church in our van (decorated with huge branches of fuchsia flowers), where we were surrounded by little girls in white dresses, hats, and gloves, and then met by the priest who quickly did our confessions outside (oops, had a lot to cover in my 31 years of being Protestant!). He mixed us into the regular church service, and we danced slowly up the aisle (behind the girls in white) with all my family in tow. We arrived at the front row to many welcomes, and then we knelt and were blessed in our marriage. The priest then asked us to introduce ourselves – and when I calmly and clearly said, “Mimi, ninaitwa Joan Khisa,” the place erupted in cheers – what a welcome! Then my family and friends were also asked to introduce themselves, and did a smashing job. The altar boys waved huge incense burners and Anthony and I came up the aisle again with the sacrament. We sang, and danced, and received so much positive energy..

We then headed back to Anthony’s home, where a HUGE assortment of people sang and danced around the vehicle as we drove through the field, welcoming us and chanting… wow. It’s really hard to describe. Of course this is MY home now too, and I’ve been here many times before, but it was transformed into a teeming mass of celebration. Also, I hadn’t seen the new gazebo that Anthony had built, or the new house, or the canvas tents under which there were hundreds of people (though I had seen the specially constructed outhouse!). We were directed to two thrones in the gazebo, with seats behind for my family, facing the crowd. Dancing, singing, musicians – all entertained for us. It was a long procession of artists and poems and greetings and music and dances and food and blessings and welcoming and proclamations about the first Canadian Bukusu! Anthony reveled in the majestic setting… he is my African King! I videotaped and gawked and couldn’t believe my fortune in being the guest of honour at such an event. There is nothing I can say to describe it fully… Vanessa said it was like being sucked into National Geographic, crossed between Mike’s comparison of feeling like we were in the Beatles. I could see the look of amazement on my parents’ faces. It was Wow.		Our friends Mike, Tracey & Jeniffer in front of the crowd at Anthony's place

 

Our newly combined family - Bukusu & Dutch-Scottish-Norwegian-Canadian!
Back, L-R: Uncles Zachias & George and an Aunt, brother Jake, and sister Vanessa
Front, L-R: Dad Josephat, Mum Susana, me, Anthony, Mum Gardia, Dad Teunis

 

Eventually it became dark, and the local brew was brought out… we packed up the visitors, sure that they must be overwhelmed, and went back to the town of Kitale. I now felt properly married. My friends Howard (the Norwegian) and Beatrice (his Kenyan fiancée) arrived from Norway/Nairobi just then, so we drank and celebrated with them in town, eventually leaving the rest of the visitors for dancing at the local disco. Anthony and I stayed in town at our favourite hotel, the Alakara - our second honeymoon!

Nothing could top that day, but we still had Kenyan traditions to impart! Tracey got into peeling green bananas to make matoke – they kind of taste like potatoes when cooked (delish!). Dad checked out Anthony’s father’s posho mill – a diesel engine that grinds maize – and we spent many evenings in the gazebo or around the fire talking with Susana (Anthony’s mother) and Mzee (Anthony’s Dad). Howard & Beatrice stuck around – due to Beatrice’s new found love for Anthony’s village. See, most Kenyans do have a village (rural) home, in addition to their city apartment, but Beatrice’ family no longer has a presence outside of Nairobi. She loved being a village girl again, and it was also Howard’s first time to really integrate into the Kenyan countryside. My people complained a lot, but I know they were just trying to adjust to the horrible bathrooms, lower standards of hotel cleanliness, time it takes a Kenyan restaurant prepare a meal, or waiting around for hours to coordinate 10 people. Such is life, and despite those issues, they enjoyed the bright sunshine, green fields, and especially getting to know Anthony’s family – oh the kids! We all went to an animal sanctuary close to town, and brought Leah and Gigi with us (Kelvin is called Gigi because he is exactly like the oriGInal, Anthony!) – man did they love their new grandparents! They must think it’s the coolest EVER to have mzungu grandparents – they held everyone’s hand, danced around, played for the video camera, and proclaimed their affection many times over. This was also they day that Leah decided I’m now her mum – she wouldn’t let me out of her sight! We also took them to where Anthony’s family used to live, on Mount Elgon – their village was burnt and people driven off their land due to tribal clashes about 10 years ago. Anthony hasn’t been back since, until that day. Then it was New Years. We checked out the Kitale Club – an exclusive joint that was having an expensive party for 2000 people – and decided against it. Instead, we went for nyama choma (bbq’ed goat) roasted over charcoal at Anthony’s compound, complete with Tusker and Pilsner and Safari Rum and local moonshine – chang’a. YAH. When the new year came in, we made so much noise that the donkey joined in – good voice, that one!

So then we left Kitale and headed back to Nairobi.. but not for long! We gave everyone a day to rest, then headed out on safari. We drove down to the Tanzanian border, where we crossed Maasailand to get to Amboseli National Park. After wrangling with the gatekeepers to let me in for the  Kenyan resident fee, we were shocked to discover that the rooms at the lodge would be USD$180. Luckily, Anthony's cousin Chiliya (aka Sylvester) works as a Caterpillar mechanic in the park (oh the coincidence), so he led us off speeding through the African landscape to the staff guest house - at only CAD$18 per night per person! Unfortunately, our designated driver scored a point on a baby antelope - some predator got a free dinner that night thanks to Jake! The guest house was fantastic, with (almost) enough beds, living room, kitchen, and even a cook - with the amazing backdrop of Mount Kilimanjaro! That's the tallest mountain in Africa, but was generously given to the Germans (who owned Tanzania) by the British (who owned Kenya) since they already had Mount Kenya - the second tallest peak on the continent. We foraged for food, received Kenyan cooking lessons, and ate and drank with Chiliya until some ridiculous time in the morning - and then got up at 6am for the morning game drive!

And what a game drive it was. Mum was determined to see lions, and nature obliged - within minutes, we saw a lion kill! The lioness grabbed a wildebeest and dragged it off to her babies while the lazy dad looked on. We stayed with the pride for quite a while as two lionesses stalked that wildebeest herd, forcing another one to break away from the crowd, as they taught their cubs to hunt. It was amazing. We then saw all the elephants and zebras one could ever hope to see, and I got my first look at a bunch of hippos hanging out in their pool. We also saw lots of antelopes of all descriptions, elands, wildebeest, etc. Chiliya, in the park jeep, drove us right into the middle of an elephant herd, and we got some incomparable photos. Anthony was just thrilled - this was his first time on a game drive too! He videotaped everything, demanding Tracey's camera once ours ran out of batteries. We climbed to the top of a small peak to really take in the awesome landscape, all in the shadow of Kilimanjaro, on a beautiful hot, blue-skied day.. 

And then off to the Maasai village! The colourful Maasai, with their red tartan shukas (blankets), beads, and hugely modified earlobes danced and jumped and sang, and taught us how to make fire. We stepped inside their tiny mud homes, which were cool and dark and lined with animal skins. The Maasai eat only milk, blood, beef, and goat - not a vegetable ever! They bleed their bulls by cutting the jugular, and mix that with milk in a calabash - a hollowed-out and dried gourd. Their compound (manyatta) is circled by a fence, and their houses line the circumference. The central area is where their cattle and goats sleep - though these ones were grazing on the slopes of Kilimanjaro at this time. We walked through their market (where Dad asked how much to buy the entire table) and made our way to their church - a big tree to gather under. They sang more songs and sent us on our way.

We cleared out of the guest house and started our harrowing journey out the other side of the park towards Mombasa - traveling on a bumpy dirt road for several hours, nearly running out of gas, not knowing how far we had left to go, and not recognizing the highway once we got to it because it was also ripped up! We backtracked to Emali, where they told us that the road was torn up for about another 100km. Despite the armegeddon-feel to this stricken little Kenyan pit stop, we decided to spend the night. We were referred to a hotel up the way, checked it out, and said good night. We rose bright and early to continue the road trip - through craterous potholes and huge bumps, and finally onto a repaved section - oh the relief! Jake had been our continuous driver, and prodded me awake only when we were on the outskirts of Mombasa. 

And whew, Mombasa is hot! We drove through the town and headed for the beach - to a little hotel recommended to me by Howard for its cheapness and proximity to the beach... and was he right! We were flabbergasted to agree on CAD$10 per night per person - for 4 rooms, plus a sitting room, kitchen, pool, beach bar, and of course the BEACH!! YAH!! We were in heaven. Mike & I got right into the pool while Anthony took the others shopping. Unfortunately I lost a day due to uncontrollable vomiting (still not sure why, but my honey took care of me), and other than that, the beach holiday section was just divine. White sand that feels like icing sugar on your feet, warm Indian Ocean, bright hot days, and lots of interesting guests to observe... seems like we were in the business section of the beach - lots of young Kenyan chicks with old ugly white men! (Anthony and I threw them for a loop.) We taught Anthony to swim, checked out the other beach  restaurants, bought keychain carvings on the beach, drank lots of safari rum, got a kick out of the blue-balled monkeys, lost necklaces and glasses in the tide, got sunburnt, appreciated the grocery store's air conditioning, relaxed, and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. We also went to Fort Jesus, a Portuguese fort built in the 1500s and sacked several times by Arabs, British, etc., and then for a walking tour of old Mombasa town. Of course we sampled the Swahili food - coconut everything! Incredibly delicious... just ask Tracey!

We dreaded getting back into the van, but headed back to Nairobi on Sunday so I could get to a technical demonstration on Monday. Since the trip thus far was filled with adventure and more, I left the family to their own devices while I slaved away. Anthony took Mum & V to Karen Blixen house, and I really wanted to get Dad to the museum, but he got to see Caterpillar instead (guess which is more important!!). Tracey hung around Ratna, the apartment compound where I used to live, doing crosswords with Bwana Mike and cooking with Ash. Jake slept. We all went back to Carnivore on Wednesday night - Rock night - where we got the cheaper game meat platters and partied till 3am... that was so fun! Took them to the Village Market for more African art - though we were rather rained out, V managed to score a pretty big giraffe for $12 plus a Canada pin! Jake got enough necklaces for a class reunion. Mum picked up a few kikois and dresses, and Dad got hounded for not wanting to buy a USD$140 wooden bowl! Me, I was only there for the falafel... mmm, Lebanese food tastes like home to me.

 

Bye for now, and I hope that 2004’s going great for YOU!

Love,
Joan Khisa

 

Copyright Johanna Voerman Khisa, 2002-04. Reprinting or reposting without permission is prohibited.